I lay face down. My pillow, which is actually an Osprey stuff sack filled with the few pieces of clothing I had, muffles my ears and gently suffocates my breathing. I can feel the hum of the giant granite peaks beside me, forming the canyon where I made camp. Twenty feet to my right an ancient river roars over smooth stone cut by waters over a timeline that seems immeasurable. It booms in the canyon, laughing and dancing through the hum of the mountains. I wonder why I camped here. I will not sleep. I am twenty feet from the fucking rapids. I complain in my head, a huge pass to climb tomorrow. John Muir Pass to be exact also described as long, and extremely steep. I need sleep. My mosquito bites begin to itch, swelling with an allergic reaction. One, two, three, four, five…twenty. I tear up, scratching so hard dirt and skin build up under my finger nails.
I am surrounded by heaven but I am in hell within my mind. I breathe deep, still suffocated by my pillow. I breathe deep again, trying to focus on sleep. Closing my eyes I cross them, focusing on the blue ultra violet circle that appears at my third eye. The universe appears, swirling under my eyelids forming a galaxy in between my two eyeballs. I had only been able to do this once before, lying in bed back home while listening to chakra healing tones, trying to meditate myself into the succeeding on the journey I was partaking in now. The sound of the river echoing through the solid canyon gets me there, forcing open my third eye, the sixth chakra.
The rush of the river so extremely loud begin to force my heart beat into a rapid pace, my ears start to ring. Do I hear voices? I try to slow my heart rate but the watercourse has taken control. I almost feel as if I could hyperventilate but I do not give in to that fear. The canyon fills with voices, but the voices come from the beat of many drums. I can hear anything I imagine, creation flows from the sounds of the prehistoric environment. I am creating sounds. The ground beneath me starts to become apparent. It hold me up pressing against my gravitational force. It reminds me that we are floating in space and stars spiral out of my pupils. Spinning in space surrounded by the voices of all beings that have ever walked this planet, I realize I am out of body. I am in this place, a place most people will never get to be and I am here, levitating.
The river thundered through the night and I finally slept at 3am after putting my ear buds in. I couldn’t believe my interaction with the Sierra Nevada’s that night. It was the first of many sound hallucinations I experienced in the wilderness that summer. I have since tried to research what these sounds mean but an explanation was hard to find. Some suggested that the combination of all tones that are uplifted out of roaring waters create vibrations that your mind picks up and tries to make sense of, hallucinating music and voices. In a more spiritual sense, maybe the river carries the voices, music, and calls of everything that has ever walked our planet. I like to think of it that way. “Everything you can imagine, is real.” – Pablo Picasso